Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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