Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
