Dual....:-)
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
