Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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