i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
