Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
