i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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