spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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