Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
