Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
