yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
