dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
