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• (650): View more from California

  Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  k i'll be over in 5.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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• (331): View more from Illinois

  My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.

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