I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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