It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
