It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
