I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
