How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
