BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
smell my finger.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
