people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I smell like Dick and happiness
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
