i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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