Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
