capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
