This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
