I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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