Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
