he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
high people should be assigned attendants
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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