I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
