so explain again why im purple
no
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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