This house was built for laser tag.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
