he puts the penis in happiness.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
