I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
