I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
