Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
