This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
