If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
