But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
