There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
