i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
