never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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