he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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