It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
