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It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
