ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
