we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she looked like the before picture.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
