plz talk dirty to me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
