Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
