i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just gift wrapped bread.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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