I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
