READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
