my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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